Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
