Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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