Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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