I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
