id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize