How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
