with your own penis?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
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there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
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True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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