I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
