I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize