Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
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Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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