Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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