We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
