I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
