Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
