you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
