Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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