Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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