we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
