i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
