going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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