Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
