Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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