They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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