I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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