worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
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He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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