At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
