YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
