yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
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We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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