Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
