Kiss
Puke
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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