so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
