I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
