i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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