My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
