so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I am available for nakedness
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
