We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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