i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
