I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
