you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
