Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
