Nicole vs. Life
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
