69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
