Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
