He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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