My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Randomize
