listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
