i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Randomize
