ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
