3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize