Can i not drive my cunt home
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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