this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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