If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
