they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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