Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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