She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My cat gives me a boner
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize