gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
