Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize