Hey man sorry I got all grabby
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
