I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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