he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize