you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You were trust falling into bushes
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
