No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
