I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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