I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
birth control should be required to get into college
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm just crazy horny about you
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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