I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
