if i can run in heels then i can drive
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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