Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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