Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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