DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
